When will my baby sleep through the night?
Keeping Your Child’s Sleep on Track During Travel and the Holidays.
The Arabic version of this article is also available here.
A goodnight’s sleep could be the best gift to give them this season!!
With all the family gatherings, celebrations and travel happening during the Holidays; many parents fear that their baby’s sleep will regress. Especially parents who have recently gotten their babies sleeping on a schedule worry that they will not be able to maintain their child’s sleep habits….
And I can assure you, all those fears are well-founded. Amidst the excitement, travel, attention from all family members then travel back again, the holiday season is the single easiest way to throw all of your hard work on healthy sleep schedules and routines out with the wrapping paper and toy boxes…
As a matter of fact, all Santa’s gift and Grandma’s cuddles will not make your cranky overtired baby Happy!
But the good news is, it doesn’t have to be that way! With a will of steel and some tactical planning, you can keep that routine running as close as possible to the way you did at home…
Two major obstacles to your child’s sleep over the holidays. First is travel and second is family gatherings.
First: Travelling
If you’re thinking about starting sleep training your little one, but you’ve got to take a trip in a few weeks, my suggestion is to put off the training until you get back.
If you however have already established healthy sleep routines and schedules, taking a trip won’t be the end of the world or mean you lose all the hard work, in condition that you maintain some semblance of normalcy until the end of your trip. Your baby should be ready to get back to all good habits as soon as you get home.
Let’s dissect that further…
First it is important to mention that some children travel better than others (some can handle it perfectly)! But in general traveling with young children is not easy…
If you’re flying, well, my heart goes out to you!!! Do whatever gets you through it with minimum amount of fussing… But choosing an early morning flights will help, after a whole night of sleep baby will be good to go. To be honest, if they don’t want to sleep on the plane, they’re just not going to, so don’t try to force it. It will just result in lots of frustration for both of you, and most likely to the passengers around you.
If you are driving it is best to travel during their naptime, so the baby would nap for a chunk of the trip. For all day trips you might look for some parks, tourist attractions, or outdoor activities that are on your route so you can stop when baby gets up, this will make next nap easier. For all day trips best to go in the morning.
Alright! So eventually you’ve arrived, and hopefully with some degree of sanity. Now, I’m sorry to say, comes the tricky part.
Family gatherings
Now that you’re at Grandparents’ house everyone wants baby awake to see them, take tons of pictures, play with them, and get them ridiculously overstimulated. And it’s exceptionally difficult to make everyone understand that you need to end the fun because baby needs to get to sleep…
Be the bad guy! I’m giving it to you right here and now. No negotiations and no exceptions when it comes to your baby’s sleep. Firmly explain to everyone in advance when to expect some baby time based on baby’s schedule. And that his/her sleep is top priority, you’re not taking any chances of them waking up or something messing up their sleep schedules and routines that took you so long to establish.
I know it sounds harsh, but don’t feel bad! The alternative is almost instantaneous backslide right into day one of sleep training or into a messy situation in your very well-established baby sleep schedule. Baby misses a nap, gets all hyped up because of all the new faces, then overtiredness kicks in, cortisol levels go up, and the next nap is ruined, which causes more overtiredness resulting in disrupted nighttime sleep, and before you know it, you’re back home and it seems like baby did nothing but cry the entire trip.
That is not even an exaggeration! It happens that quickly in babies and children who do not happen to have sleep amongst their best skills.
OK great, you’re not budging on your baby’s schedule and naps happened at the right times, and now it’s time for bed. The catch here is, if you are staying at grandparents’ house there’s only one room for you and baby.
No problem, right? Bed sharing for a few nights isn’t the end of the world, after all.
I wish I could say that, but again, babies can develop a real affinity for co-sleeping in as little as one night.
So, if you’re sharing a room, what I suggest is few simple tips.
Baby/child should always be in his own sleeping space bassinet, crib, pack & play or inflatable mattress depending on their age. The only age where co-sleeping won’t hinder your child’s sleep is if they are 4 years and above, in this age group you can explain to the child that the new sleep arrangements are temporary.
Make the shared room into two rooms!
So, I do suggest hanging a blanket between your bed and theirs, setting up a dressing screen or any other brilliant separation ideas you can come up with. This way the baby won’t be distracted by being able to see you, and people walking in and out of the room are much less likely to cause any unintentional wakeups.
Another major thing to consider is DARKNESS level, be sure that the room is dark enough in the morning, and if not, bring travel shades or any invention you can come up with to block the early morning sun. You can even try taping large black garbage bags to the windows or newspapers (lots of layers), that might sound crazy, but if it is the only thing in your reach why not! It will not look neat for sure but who cares baby sleep wins!
The “no exception” rule around sleep even extends to all sleep props. You might be tempted to slip a pacifier or rock your baby to sleep if he/she is disturbing the rest of the house. But baby is going to get used to it really, really quickly, and you’ll probably be waking up every hour or two, rocking them back to sleep or putting the pacifier back in, which is going to end up disturbing everyone a lot worse than some crying at 7:00 pm.
As a matter of fact, first two nights in a new place tend to be the hardest for children, but to help them settle faster keep sleep routines the same like in their house-as much as possible. And most importantly fight the temptation of letting anyone else (Grandma, aunt…) do the bedtime routine just to keep changes around sleep to a minimum.
And one last key element for better settling is to separate your child 15-20 minutes from the hustle of the house before bedtime routine starts so that there is a winding down phase.
I find the biggest reason parents give in and go back to props is simply because they’re embarrassed. There’s a house full of eyes and they’re all focused on the new baby, and by association, the new parent. Leaving parents feeling judged about how they are parenting. This gets overwhelming in these family gatherings, but in those moments, remember what’s really important here.
Your baby, their health and well-being.
There may well be a few relatives or cousins who feel a bit unhappy because you put baby to bed just when they got in the door, but remember you’re doing this for a very noble cause. Perhaps the most noble cause there is!
So stand tall and remember that you’re a superhero, defending sleep for those who are too small to defend it for themselves. Just remember that, like any superhero, you may be misunderstood by the masses.
Ignore them. Proceed with your mission.
Layal Fayad
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